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Sterne Measures |
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Full Sterne Aheadby Jim Sterne
June, 1999 Full Sterne Ahead contains the mostly monthly musings of Jim Sterne, author, speaker, and Web marketing consultant to business and industry. ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- Welcome to the June, 1999 issue of Full Sterne Ahead. In this issue I wonder about bandwidth and privacy in When Will They Ever Learn?, show you my (not so secret) technical Resource of Note, ponder the gateway to Europe in While I Was Out, have a chat with some answerbots in my Crystal Ball, review the responses to what showed up last month In My In-Box, admire an online proposal in You Can Do It, grin at a Classic Comment and revisit self-induced psychedelia in Making The Rounds. ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- WHEN WILL THEY EVER LEARN? -------------------------- The lesson was as plain as the noses on their faces, but none of them seemed to wake up and smell the coffee. It was at the May '99 @d:tech conference. It was a display of conspicuous bandwidth consumption during a panel moderated by former AdAge editor (and now @d:tech executive) Kate Maddox. Five creative agencies strutted their stuff with their latest and greatest rich media advertising talents. Rich media means streaming this, animated that, all-singing, all-dancing banners. The T1 line that was meant to support the entire conference simply could not manage the exhibit hall floor and this special rich media session. It was so bad that there were hecklers from the audience, charging, "Why don't you have a better connection, when we paid all this money to be here?" Zoom out: A dozen people streaming video into your building on a shared T1 will act like a 14.4. What can we learn from this? Keep your hands in the car at all times. Keep your seat belt fastened low and tight across your lap. Keep your downloads to a minimum! WHEN WILL THEY EVER LEARN? Part 2 -------------------------- Gabe Goldberg www.cpcug.org/user/gabe was kind enough to point out something I agreed to that I would not have, had I been trained in the fine art of reading fine print. Said Gabe: "When the United web server is actually working, and you complete the tedious process of registering, you're greeted with the attached page. I might have accepted the agreement even though it's wretched, asserting all sorts of restrictions and penalties, until I reached the Reservation of Rights paragraph at bottom, especially points (1) and (2). So the cost of dealing with United is accepting trash marketing and waiving any expectation of privacy. No thanks...." The use of United Connection services under the Registered User's identification codes and passwords will constitute (1) express and unambiguous approval by you (as Registered User or other User) for United's lawful use and disclosure of your personal information for purposes of solicitations, promotions and marketing programs, without further approval or notification, (2) your express and unambiguous agreement that neither you nor any of your authorized Users has any expectation of privacy resulting from the use of United Connection services On Monday, May 24, I sent the above along to United along with: Hey -- get a clue, will ya? The Internet is an opt-in medium. If you can't take me out of your database, I *will* take my 1K status over to American and see how they treat me. And yes, I *am* expecting an answer from you on this.... To date -- I've heard nothing. The thought of having to change all those reservations is giving me a headache. Sadly, there are no United employees on this list. If you happen to know one -- please forward. [Do you suppose these are the same people who forced Mark Ahrens to rummage through his trash to find the "mailing's offer code" when he tried to convince United to stop sending him SilverWings offers? He's 10 years too young to qualify.] ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- RESOURCE OF NOTE ---------------- I'm a marketing guy. Can you tell? But I can't do marketing on the Web well without knowing something about the technology. So when I get asked a tech question, I reply, "I'm a marketing guy." Then I hightail it over to www.wdvl.com to find the answer so I don't look like such a Bozo the next time. The Original Encyclopedia of Web Technology, The WDVL (Web Developer's Virtual Library) is for webmasters, web designers, and Internet developers, and it's unbiased, vendor-neutral and standards-oriented. It's a well-organised (sic) goldmine (sic) of articles, tutorials, demos, and links to great resources about creating and promoting web pages and sites with HTML, Meta tags, XML, cascading style sheets, graphics tools, background images, icons, multimedia, GIF animation, Java applets, JavaScript, CGI Perl software, VRML, DHTML, etc. In other words, it's my cheat sheet. It's the place I fall back on to insure that I can continue to sound like I know what I'm talking about. Joe Bob says: check it out. ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- WHILE I WAS OUT --------------- I spent two weeks in Deutschland in May and felt a gentle tipping of the European scales. One week was spent in and around Munich giving a two-day seminar to Web-aficionados at Siemens, and one week was in Berlin at Internet World. Usually I spend more time in London than anywhere else, and this time I had the chance to detect a difference between the two. Aside from the fact that the beer is better, and the history is more recent. It seems that the UK is focused on two things at the moment: online advertising and online access. This is the place where grocery stores are offering free access to the Internet and AOL and BT are testing flat-rate access with no phone charges. Meanwhile, the UK-Netmarketing list www.chinwag.com/uk-netmarketing spends a great deal of time bashing about the ins and outs of banner ads. At the same time, the UK government has its heart in the right place, promoting the Internet as a means to a more competitive Britain www.dti.gov.uk/comp/competitive/summary.htm. Still, the buzz I get on the street and at conferences has me thinking that Germany is moving faster toward the prospect of e-commerce. Buying and selling, research and development, value chain and intranets. It's as if the Brits got in on the ground floor and soaked up the Silicon Valley spirit without convincing the old white guys in the head office. Meanwhile, the Germans are looking closely at the marks and pfennigs, and don't really care much for the brave new world, the camaraderie of Web developers with bold ideas, the information-wants-to-be-free publishers. The Germans also don't want to waste time lamenting about the lack of venture capital for pure Internet companies. It seems that Germany may be able to ignore the spirit of Silicon Valley/Silicon Alley, recognize good business tools when they see them, and become the e-commerce center of Europe. Watch this space. ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- THE CRYSTAL BALL ---------------- Answerbots: They're coming. They're going to answer my every question at all times of the day or night. Neuromedia (www.neuromedia.com) has a "Virtual Representative" named Red. Red will tell you all about buying and building your own Virtual Representative. Big Science (www.bigscience.com) has a Klone named Andrette that's more than just an answerbot. She's a pretty face as well. It was time to put these bit-puppies to the test: What time is it in Brazil? Red: The correct time and date here in San Francisco is now: 15:08. Andrette (along with a slightly puzzled look on her face): It's 6:27PM EDT in Atlanta, GA. I don't know the time in Brazil. The winner: Andrette! Not only did she exhibit verbal *and* facial concern over her lack of South American temporal knowledge, she was more accurate by 19 minutes. Look for more and more Frequently Asked Questions to be answered by bots. Then watch for them on interactive TV: Don Tapscott in CIO magazine says: Simon Templer drives a Volvo in the movie The Saint; I stop the action and say, "Cool car! What's that?" He says, "It's a Volvo." He says, "What's important to you?" I say, "Performance." He says, "Good! Volvo is the performance car! Here's how a Volvo does against a BMW. And you live in Denver; that's even more important because of the oxygen level in the air." Knowledge infuses itself through everything. The only meaningful form of capital becomes intellectual capital. The gap between consumers and producers blurs and we have the notion of presumption: Things are custom built for me on the Net. ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- MY IN-BOX --------- I was heading to the Houston airport when I saw a billboard depicting the face of a classic male model along with the words, "robert@cKone.com." That was it. So, over come with curiosity, I sent a message: Hi Robert -- I'm an Internet marketing consultant and a writer for various Internet-related magazines. I was giving a lecture to the Houston Business Marketing Association on Thursday and saw your billboard on the way back to the airport. I'd like to interview the person/people who dreamed up this campaign, find out what the motivation was and what the response has been so far. Whom should I talk to? I never did hear from a human. Instead, I was added to Robert's mailing list. Every two weeks or so, I get a message from Robert. They are chatty, personal, and follow along as Robert finds his way in the world. They are not deep. They are not revelatory, they simply keep one up to date. Things like this: Slowly but surely, this city is starting to get inside my blood. I've never been a tremendous fan of Paris for the simple fact that, in previous visits, I've invariably found myself thrust into the role of the gauche tourist. But Erika's been great. She's been showing me all the hidden-away restaurants and dive bars that the locals would rather keep to themselves. Truth be told, I'm actually starting to feel a tad guilty about enjoying myself so thoroughly. Patti is still livid, so I've been putting off calling her. I did manage to speak with Tia the other day and was surprised to find she's also furious with me. Apparently, she had been expecting a call to discuss the producing gig. I simply had no idea. To make matters worse, her father's taken ill. Rest assured, I was suitably penitent. In any case, the city lights are beckoning. And so, au revoir. R. If you'd rather not hear from me again, title your reply "get lost" and I most certainly will. And this: Comment ca va? Paris is -- how you say? -- magnifique. Met a stunning mademoiselle yesterday. Actually, she's British but who's counting? I am all agog. Nevertheless, nothing scandalous to report. Yet. R. If you'd rather not hear from me again, title your reply "get lost" and I most certainly will. Simply the ramblings of a hunk on a billboard. Will this sell more CK One scent for men? You betcha it will. I'm sure there are thousands of girls and women all over the US (the world?) who are buying bottles for their boyfriends in hopes of turning them into Robert. Or at least smelling like him. Thousands of young buffs are shelling out hard cash so that they can pretend to be a screen-writing photographer on permanent vacation in Paris. Now that's what I call branding. ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- YOU CAN DO IT ------------- Tenagra (www.tenagra.com) is a web development company in Houston that recently went up against some big guns in a bid for Web design and development for Unisys. It won. Besides understanding all facets of the Web business, Tenagra put its knowledge where its empty wallet was and built a proposal Web site. Breakthrough? Not really. Mind bending? Hey, it's a good idea, but I wouldn't go that far. Winner? Yes, yes, and yes. Why? Because it was able to communicate in the medium it purported to know something about. It communicated really well. When the people at Unisys saw the clear, concise and *complete* presentation of information on the Tenagra extranet, they could only wish their site was that crisp and clean. Remember, the Web is a tool. Anytime you need a tool, think about how the Internet can help solve the problem, collect the information, present the pitch or simply make it cheaper to communicate. ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME ---------------------- Last month, I pointed to Swatch's new conception, the Internet Beat (www.swatch.com/alu_beat/fs_itime.html) I even went so far as to introduce it with the words: "Swatch has branded time." Then I solicited responses. The replies were divided right down the middle. Harried marcom managers wrote in to say that coordinating conference calls in seven cities was a nightmare and the Beat really helped. Those who began their tender young lives as engineers lashed out at the absurdity of it. I was astonished. These people were taking the whole thing seriously. Thousands of people have downloaded the Swatch time converter and it runs on their desktop all day long with the Swatch logo prominently displayed. Thousands of Beat watches are being sold in the marketplace. Hundreds of reporters are writing about it. It's a PR flack's dream. Heck -- I just thought it was a brilliant marketing move. ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- CLASSIC COMMENT --------------- Kristin Zhivago, the editor of Marketing Technology newsletter www.marketingtechnology.com expressed her frustration over managing one's own Web site this way: As I said in 1994, web sites are the "hungriest" marketing vehicles ever invented...! /\/\ \ / { @ @ } 00 VVVVVV \___ / Time-eating Web site Monster ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- How about you? I'm interested in what is on *your* mind. What issues are you facing these days? Drop me a line. ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- This newsletter is going to be better if it reaches more people. You can help. The Net is a powerful word-of-mouth mechanism, so if you know somebody who might like to be on the receiving end, please point them to www.targeting.com or have them send a message to subscribe@targeting.com. And I'll bet you know what will happen if you send a message to unsubscribe@targeting.com. ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- Full Sterne Ahead contains the mostly monthly musings of Jim Sterne, author, speaker, and Web marketing consultant to business and industry. |
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