Target Marketing -- Full Sterne Ahead -October, 2000

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Full Sterne Ahead

by Jim Sterne

October, 2000

Full Sterne Ahead contains the mostly monthly musings of Jim Sterne, author, speaker, and Web marketing consultant to business and industry.

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In this issue I wonder at those who will not fully embrace the
net in When Will They Ever Learn?, find some light humor in
Resource of Note, am shocked into silence by Network World
In My In-Box, wonder why Sony hasn't gotten The Big Idea, offer
the US Postal Service a great idea in You Can Do It, admire
Radio Shack for keeping up their image of being ever-so-slightly
tacky around the edges in Don't Try This at Home, am pressed
into service licking stamp in Silly Sighting of the Moment,
and invite you all to become rich beyond your wildest dreams
in Classic Comment.

But above all, I'm reaching for brevity.

Jennifer Martin wrote to tell me
that my newsletters are:

   > tooooooooooooooooooo long. send these more frequently
   > and put less in them.

And she wasn't alone. So here goes, Jennifer. Wish me luck!
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WHEN WILL THEY EVER LEARN?
--------------------------
Sue Bird wrote from Aberdeen, Scotland about an Internet
conference in Glasgow she signed up for online.

   > I registered on-line and duly received my email
   > confirmation & was told to expect  my entry tickets
   > etc within a few days.  The day before I was due to
   > drive down to the exhibition I phoned to see what had
   > happened to my tickets.  They had no record of my
   > registering!
   >
   > I decided not to go.

Smart move, Sue! I've heard stories from people who have
booked hotel rooms, bought plane tickets, ordered computers
and the same thing happened: dropped right through the cracks.

Arrrrrgh!
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RESOURCE OF NOTE
----------------
What's the dumbest user interface predicament you've ever seen?
Anything as good as you get when you visit the Interface Hall
of Shame brought to you by those helpful folks at Isys
Information Architects? I think my favorite is AutoCAD calling
their users idiots. You'll have to find your own favorite at
www.iarchitect.com/stupid.htm

Isn't it wonderful that we are able to learn from the mistakes
of others?
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MY IN-BOX
---------
Let's face it folks - there are some very intelligent people
out there working awfully hard trying to buy stuff online.

Unfortunately, there are the other kind of people who are
awfully trying when they want our money. Here's my favorite
spam of the month, **in its entirety** :

  > To:
  > From: jimwhy@cairomail.com
  > Subject: Easily Get the Home Equity Loan You Want Now
  > Date: Sun, 10 Sep 2000 18:37:48 -1000
  >
  > PRECISE Removal instructions at END

In the same vain (misspelling intended), I am left to wonder
how this gem, from a company I admire, can weigh in at 12k?

  > Date: Fri, 22 Sep 2000 05:49:07 -0700
  > From: "MuseumCompany.com"
  > Reply-To: "MuseumCompany.com"
  > Subject: Last Chance for a Holiday in Paris!
  > To: jsterne@targeting.com
  >
  > This message was sent by MuseumCompany using Responsys
  > Interact. Click here if you prefer not to receive future
  > e-mail from MuseumCompany. Click here to view our
  > permission marketing policy.

But here's the corker:

  >From: "Network World"
  > To:
  > Subject: New e-mail preferences program
  > Date: Thu, 19 Oct 2000 16:48:48 -0500
  >
  > Please accept our apologies for this interruption.

That's always a bad sign.

  > We'd like to tell you about a new e-mail preferences
  > program that we have recently developed that allows you
  > to specify the types of e-mail messages you receive from
  > Network World.

Are you sitting down?

  > Although you told us that you no longer wish to receive
  > e-mail from us, we don't know what your preferences are
  > since this program was not in place when you contacted
  > us.  So we'd like to give you the opportunity to
  > participate in it.

I'm speechless.
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THE BIG IDEA
------------
Think like a customer.
Wear customer-colored glasses.
Ask yourself:
  What would the customer do?
  What would the customer think?
   How would the customer feel?

Paula Lindrum filled out a Web form to those helpful people
at Sony:

   > Re DSC-S70 Digital Imaging Cybershot
   > I've lost my instruction book. Is there a digital version
   > online? If not, may I order a replacement?
   > Thank you.

It took more than a week for the reply:

   > From: Custserv [mailto:custserv@info.sel.sony.com]
   > Sent: Tuesday, October 10, 2000 12:13 PM
   > To: paula@lindrum.net
   > Subject: Re: DSC-S70 : Digital Imaging : Cybershot
   >
   > Thank you for contacting SONY.
   >
   > You may view the online manual at the following URL:
   > www.sonystyle.com/pdfs/3060522111.pdf
   > (when I tried the link, it was currently unavailable. If
   > it is unavailable when you try, please try it a few more
   > times)

Paula puts it as plainly as possible:

   > Why send a customer a URL that you know won't work?

But she finishes up with the brand killer:

   > I expect more from Sony.

Me too.
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YOU CAN DO IT
-------------
Rebecca Robertson really touched a nerve when she spouted off about not being able to send things from dot-coms to APO addresses.

Greer Bohan spent 12 years selling orchids.

  > I shipped thousands of orchids world wide. Many of my
  > customers were military people in very remote places. The
  > USPS always came through for me. They never had a problem
  > getting the package to my military clients, often faster
  > than I thought possible.
  >
  > My company only ships via the USPS, unless requested by
  > the client.
  >
  > I find Mrs. Robertson's attitude toward dot-com and brick
  > and mortar companies that have forgotten the concept of
  > customer service, completely justifiable.

David Jemison wrote:

  > When I was a contractor working for the U.S. Army in South
  > Korea (and thus entitled to APO mail services), I also
  > found many companies that would not deliver to APO
  > addresses. The only reason I could figure was that it caused
  > them too much trouble to actually take the package down
  > to the post office to manually mail it (as opposed to
  > automatic pickups by UPS/FedEx).

Anybody from USPS.gov listening? Smells like a business
opportunity to me!
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DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME
----------------------
David Parrett wrote to tell me about
his experience with the :Clueless:Cat scanner:

   > I recently received a :Cue:Cat from a contact at Forbes
   > In the package was a Radio Shack brochure which allowed
   > the reader to scan various barcodes to reach the
   > corresponding product pages on their website. It could
   > have been a terrific promotion, had the scanned links
   > targeted the right location!  Instead, I was sent to a
   > Radio Shack page which told me that I had either entered
   > the url incorrectly or the information had been moved.

The Radio Shack Web development team seems to be running
low on batteries.
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SILLY SIGHTING OF THE MOMENT
-----------------------------
   > From:
   > To:

So how did *I* get this?

   > Subject:  If you like BIRDHOUSES..... then check this out!!!!
   > Date: Thu,  5 Oct 2000 05:17:37 -0400 (EDT)
   >
   > Please send a "snail" mail with your name and e-mail address
   > to the address below....

   > We will e-mail you the URL plus all information regarding
   > our line of handcrafted, quality made Birdhouses.
   > You can review them once we get your request.

Your basic out-of-band-experience.
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CLASSIC COMMENT
---------------
   > To:
   > From: sma204@usa.net
   > Subject: New...
   > Date: Thu, 05 Oct 2000 06:08:55 -0400
   > Reply-To: brian_rosenblatt@yahoo.com
   >
   >     Don't Be Left Behind!
   >
   > Become an Internet Consultant.
   > Work from home in your own business!
   > Fun, and easy to start!

And my favorite part:

   > Unlimited income.

What a country!
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SHAMELESS PLUG
---------------
Where in the world is Jim Sterne?
What day is it?

I'll only be in NY one day for Internet World. On Tuesday the
24th I'll give a one-hour presentation on The Business Side
of Managing a Web Site and another on Customer Service.
www.pentonevents.com/fall2000

Then I head to Brazil where I'll give a two day seminar on
Web marketing and online customer relationships hosted by HSM
Eventos Internacionais. Sorry - sold out.
www.hsm.com.br/smspJIM.htm

The first of November will find me in Auckland where I'll
participate in the New Zealand Government's Electronic Commerce Summit and Conference. www.ecommerce-summit.govt.nz

On Monday, November 6, I'll be online doing an iWebshop for
Hewlett-Packard, on Selling Services.

HP will be exporting my presentation skills to Dubai in the
United Arab Emirates for a day of lecture/workshop. Check
it out at www.hp-services.com/dubai-customer and you'll
need the password: dubai and the user name: uae.

I will be leading a full-day pre-conference workshop calledDeveloping an E-Service Strategy on Sunday, November 12at the CSM2000 - The Third Annual Customer Service ManagementConference in Florida. You can get a $200 discount if youregister before October 1 with the code CSFAC6 athttps://secure.thinkservice.com/csm-us/reg2000.asp  After that,
it's only worth $100 off... www.csm-us.com/precon5.asp

Monday the 13th will find me in Boston at the MIT Sloan
School of Management where I'll be lecturing those eager
youngsters on eLoyalty and expecting them to give me an
education.

Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, the 15th to the 17th
bounces me from NY to Washington D.C. to Atlanta for
another round of e-metrics seminars with Net Genesis.
Download the white paper at www.netgen.com/emetrics

For a further look ahead, there's always:
www.targeting.com/upcoming.html
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How about you?
I'm interested in what is on *your* mind. What issues are
you facing these days? Drop me a line.
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This newsletter is going to be better if it reaches more
people. You can help. The Net is a powerful word-of-mouth
mechanism, so if you know somebody who might like to be on
the receiving end, please point them to www.targeting.com

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Full Sterne Ahead contains the mostly monthly musings of
Jim Sterne, author, speaker, and Web marketing consultant
to business and industry.

Copyright 2000 - Target Marketing of Santa Barbara

Target Marketing
211 E. Victoria St., Suite E
Santa Barbara, CA 93101
+1 (805) 965-3184 phone
+1 (805) 965-8687 fax

www.targeting.com