Target Marketing -- Full Sterne Ahead

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Full Sterne Ahead

by Jim Sterne

November, 2001

Full Sterne Ahead contains the mostly monthly musings of Jim Sterne, author, speaker, and Web marketing consultant to business and industry

Welcome to Full Sterne Ahead for November, 2001.

(OK, so I'm a couple of days late. I plead too
much turkey. And for those of you @home... I'll
sacrifice an old 300bps modem to the gods of
email in hopes that you'll be online again soon.)

------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- -------
This issue When Will They Ever Learn? merges with the
Apology of the Month, I find a wireless Resource of Note,
I find a way out of the way Cybercafe in While I Was Out,
I see an Origami in my Crystal Ball, I'm deluged with
email I can't bring myself to even read in In My In-Box,
we go back to our roots in The Big Idea, I discover that
ten year old girls can't be stopped in You Can Do It,
we got on a URL hunt in Don't Try This At Home, I trip
over a trippy user interface in One of my Favorite Buttons,
I'm driven to watch television in Marketing Marvels, we're
off to the races in Silly Sighting of the Moment, 24/7
misses out on $27,000 in Who'd Have Guessed?, we witness
a very odd form of customer disservice in If They Can Put
A Man On The Moon, a University of New Brunswick professor
comes up with this month's Classic Comment, and let us not
forget the Shameless Plug!
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WHEN WILL THEY EVER LEARN? / APOLOGY OF THE MONTH
-------------------------------------------------
  > Subject: RE: Full Sterne Ahead for September, 2001
  > Date: Wed, 3 Oct 2001 14:24:52 -0600
  > From: "Dan Murray"
  > To:
  >
  > Jim,
  > Nice issue, as always. Thanks for including me.

Dan ran into some trouble after registering for a "Future
of E-Business" webinar hosted by Teradata, the data
warehouse division of NCR. They kept sending registration
info to an old address.

  > Interestingly, today I got an apology letter from
  > the VP of Sales of Fulfillment America about the
  > incorrectly addressed personalized card.
  >
  > Amazingly (or not, maybe), the letter was STILL
  > sent to the old (& incorrect) company name and old
  > (& incorrect) address that they had on file for me
  > and used for their initial direct mail solicitation.
  > I guess they'll never learn.
  >
  > Dan Murray Persona, Inc.
  > dmurray@persona.com http://www.persona.com

You can almost hear Pete Seeger in the background.
------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- -------

RESOURCE OF NOTE
----------------
I came across the High Tech Marketing Communicators
(HTMARCOM) discussion list server in February of 1994

Moderated by Kim Bayne of wolfBayne Communications, the
subject matter was wide-spread and of high value - a
lively discussion of all things marketing; trade shows,
brochure production, product management issues and a
great deal about how to convince the engineer/founder
of a company that marketing was critical to his success.

In the summer of 1994, the conversation turned to
marketing on the Internet. How to get a server running.
Where to find the shareware and what techniques could
be used to bring in more customers. HTMARCOM was the
progenitor of Glenn Fleishman's Internet Marketing List
and Kim's been keeping a hand in ever since.

I've stayed focused on the Web and Kim has moved into
the next new thing: mobile marketing. Kim's Marketing
Wirelessly Newsletter covers things like Feature:
wireless micropayments, wireless marketing solutions,
tips and tidbits, conferences & Seminars and wireless
news. Joe Bob says, check it out:
http://www.marketingwirelessly.com
------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- -------

WHILE I WAS OUT
---------------
Having completed a day-long seminar in Istanbul, I flew
east for an hour and then took a bus for an hour and a
half to get into the very heart of Turkey.

There I found some of the oddest geology I've ever come
across and some truly remarkable people (Hi Nurettin!)
and places. As a picture is worth a thousand words, take a
look at: http://www.targeting.com/personal/turkey2.jpg
See what I mean?

That is the village of Ortahisar which is a stone block
village with chickens and donkeys, women in head scarves
and harem pants, homes made out of hand-hewn caves, and,
of course, an Internet Café.

It just never surprises me anymore.
------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- -------

THE CRYSTAL BALL
----------------
It's a dessert topping *and* a floor wax:

   Digital camera
   Digital camcorder
   Video conferencing terminal
   Internet access device
   E-mail terminal
   Internet picture frame
   MP3 player
   Smart phone
      And much more . . .

I want one for Christmas. Phil Gibson - are you listening?
http://www.national.com/news/item/0,1735,702,00.html
------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- -------

MY IN-BOX
---------
Emails I never even needed to read:

  > Delivered-To: jsterne@silcom.com
  > From: "John"
  > To: User@vivanet.com.au
  > Subject: HugeëSavingsë75%-85%ëëOnëInkjetsë&ë
  >          LaserëCartridgesëëManufactureëDirect
  > X-Mailer: MMailer v3.0
  > Date: Sun, 11 Nov 2001 15:52:38 +-0800

An X-Mailer indeed.

  > Date: Tue, 6 Nov 2001 14:10:20 -0500
  > From: "Staples Canada"
  > To: michelle@targeting.com
  > Subject: Stock Up And Save With Staples Businessdepot.Com!

The only way to unsubscribe was to send an email.
An open and shut case for double opt-in.

  > From: "Cherie M"
  > To:
  > Subject: Request Permission to send information
  > Date: Tue, 9 Oct 2001 12:23:15 -0700

Non, mon Cherie.

  > From: samanthawlm@jippii.fi
  > To: seanna2m@msn.com
  > Date: Wed, 10 Oct 01 22:23:13 EST
  > Subject: Antibiotics & Gas Masks .. Order Online!!
  > Reply-To: samanthawlm@jippii.fi

Pass!
------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- -------

THE BIG IDEA
------------
It used to be that I'd walk into a company to help them
with their Web site strategy and within about ten seconds
we'd be talking about corporate goals.

These days -- it's exactly the same.

It used to be all about how Information Wants to Be Free!
That was great back when you had a Webmaster named Dave
who worked 24/7 on Jolt Cola and pizza because the Web
was cool. Heck, information *was* free then.

These days, it's all about ROI. How do you get the most
out of the investments you've already made?

The weird part is that nothing else has changed. I still
work with large companies and they still don't know what
they want to accomplish. The Web workshops always end up
focusing on corporate goals.

The question, "How can we make our site better?" will
forever be answered with, "Better at what?" First tell
me what are you trying to accomplish and together we'll
find politically and technically feasible ways to get
there.

What's the big idea? Now that you know how to build and
run a Web site, it's time to make sure you're running it
in the right direction.
------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- -------

YOU CAN DO IT
-------------
  > From: "Katharina Krummel"
  > To:
  > Subject: Post aus Deutschland

    Message from Germany

  > Date: Sun, 11 Nov 2001 20:29:06 +0100
  >
  > Hallo Jim,
  >
  > ich habe deine mail-Adresse von Tobias Gärtner von
  > den Argonauten. Der hat mir die Mail unten geschickt
  > und von dem Newsletter berichtet, in dem er meine
  > Adresse gefunden hat. Ich finde das ganz toll, dass
  > ich da genannt werde.

    I got your email address from Tobias who sent me a
    message telling me about how he found me through
    your newsletter. I think it's really cool that I was
    mentioned in it.

On the Homepage of a 9-year old girl from Germany
http://www.katharina-krummel.de we found this
great example of how simple a Legal Disclaimer can
look and why children are sometimes better
communicators than we are ;-)

  > Wir basteln hier gerade an
  > einem Videokonferenz-Projekt
  >      (www.videokonferenz-page.de.vu)
  > in dem wir Kinder über WebCams zusammenbringen.

    We're tinkering here with a video conference project
    that brings children together using WebCams.
    www.videokonferenz-page.de.vu

  > Bislang haben wir nur Leute aus Deutschland,
  > Österreich und der Schweiz. Es wäre super, wenn wir
  > auch Kinder aus anderen Ländern dazu bekämen, die
  > müssen nur deutsch können (ich kann noch kein
  > englisch ...)

    So far we only have people in Germany, Austria and
    Switzerland. It would be super if we could also
    get children from other countries. But they have
    to know German (I don't know English yet...)

  > Vielleicht kannst du uns ja etwas helfen ?
  > Schreib mal zurück

    Perhaps you can help us a little?
    Write me back

  > CU Katharina

I did write Katharina back (with only a *little* help
from http://babel.altavista.com) and I'm happy to help -
if only to show the adults of the world what's possible.

When Tobias Gärtner pointed me to this site and
complained about feeling old, I told him to hire these
girls at once!

Viel Glück, Katharina!
------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- -------

DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME
----------------------
This month, a quiz from Gabe Goldberg:

  > What key item is missing from note below?

  > Date: Mon, 15 Oct 2001 12:16:03 -0700
  > From: survey@upside.com
  > To: GABE@ACM.ORG
  > Subject: Upside Magazine Quick Survey
  >
  > Upside Magazine is conducting a brief survey to
  > help better understand you and your interests, in
  > order to improve our product for you.
  >
  > We invite you to participate in this survey and
  > answer a few important questions about your business,
  > your reading habits and preferences. It should take
  > just a couple of minutes to complete.
  >
  > As a "Thank you" to those responding, we will
  > include you in a drawing to win an Upside Gift Basket,
  > to be announced on October 26th.
  >
  > To participate in this survey, please click on
  > the following URL:
  > All responses will be used in strict confidence.
  >
  > If you do not care to participate, we thank you
  > for your consideration and apologize for the
  > inconvenience of this e-mail.
  >
  > Thanks very much for your help.
  >
  > Sincerely yours,
  > Robert Wells
  > Publisher, Upside Magazine

All responses will be used in strict confidence?
Shouldn't be hard.
------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- -------

ONE OF MY FAVORITE BUTTONS
--------------------------
Tip of the hat to Yahoo-picks for this enthralling
interface:
http://www.whitney.org/artport/idealine
------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- -------

MARKETING MARVELS
-----------------
You've heard the latest report that the Internet is
taking time away from TV, right? No tears here.

But I was intrigued by an email from TiVo (of which I
am a major fan), that caused me to turn on the TV to
watch a commercial. Really.

  > From: TiVo News
  > To: jsterne@targeting.com
  > Subject: Win The All-New Lexus ES 300
  >
  > Enter the Lexus ES 300 "A New World of Luxury" TiVo
  > Sweepstakes and you could win the all-new Lexus ES 300.
[Automobilia snipped]

  > To begin playing, visit the Lexus Showcase from TiVo
  > Central. There you'll find the list of programs where
  > the Lexus ES 300 ads will be running. View them
  > carefully, because once you've seen the ads, you'll
  > have to answer just one of the following questions
  > about the commercials.
[Simple questions snipped]

  > In order to register for the sweepstakes, answer one
  > of the questions online at www.lexus.com/tivo. Answer
  > correctly, and you will be entered to win a luxurious
  > Lexus ES 300.
[snip]

Now that's what I call driving traffic.
------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- -------

SILLY SIGHTING OF THE MOMENT
----------------------------
I bow to the greater waster of time: Adam Gaffin, who
single handedly clued me into the following:

  > To: "Vitally Important Information"
  > From: Adam Gaffin
  > Subject: Snail races
  >
  > If life's just gotten too hectic, check out
http://members.surfeu.fi/kklaine/pelit/etanaralli/etana2.html

Adam will also be responsible for sending messages from
the great beyond: http://www.timelessmail.com
------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- -------

WHO'D HAVE GUESSED?
-------------------
  > Date: Wed, 3 Oct 2001 14:10:29 -0400
  > From: Martin New
  > Subject: 247 media provide optimism in email
  >          addresses - uh
  > To:
  >
  > Hi Jim,
  > I recently visited 247media.com to get a quote on the
  > international opt-in email list available from
  > englishtown.com. Having found the rate card at
  > hhttp://www.datacards.com/TFS/TFS75043.htm, I duly
  > clicked on the email address provided at the bottom
  > of the page listmanagement@247media.com and sent my
  > request.
  >
  > To my amazement I got the reply that the recipient
  > name was not recognized. Understandably, it has given
  > me *great* confidence concerning 247 delivering quality
  > results. Truly amazing when the list I was interested
  > in purchasing had a rate card value of $27,000.
  >
  > Regards,
  > Martin New - President
  > www.budgetstudy.com
  > eCommerce solutions for the global learning marketplace

24/7? Care to defend your honor?
------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- -------

IF THEY CAN PUT A MAN ON THE MOON
---------------------------------
I wrote to the good people at Qualcomm about a Eudora
problem I've been experiencing:

  > Eudora insists on printing e-mails at the Largest
  > setting, even though I've set it to the Smallest
  > in Options/Fonts. Is there some other setting
  > that's overriding my wishes?

The reply came from one of the *other* kind of people
at Qualcomm:

  > Date: Thu, 11 Oct 2001 14:43:03 -0700
  > To: Jim Sterne
  > From: Jamie L
  > Subject: Re: Request for technical support
  >
  > I apologize for the long delay. I suffer from
  > migraines and was out of the office for some time.
  >
  > Hold down CTRL+SHIFT then with your mouse click on
  > Tools/Options, you will have a dialog box pop up
  > that say Eudora is about to strip out all but the
  > most vital settings. Let go of the keyboard click
  > yes. This will not harm any mail or other stored
  > data file with in Eudora. The program will shutdown
  > to your Desktop, restart Eudora.
  >
  > Jamie L.
  > Technical Support Specialist
  > QUALCOMM Eudora Technical Services

Uhhh - sorry to have bothered you, Jamie. And
thanks anyway, but, uh,  I think I'll just
live with it.
------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- -------

CLASSIC COMMENT
---------------
  > Date: Sun, 07 Oct 2001 12:25:26 -0300
  > From: Lilly Buchwitz
  > Organization: University of New Brunswick
  > To: webmaster@greetking.com
  > Subject: Do you think I'm an idiot?
  >
  > You send me spam, and the unsubscribe link takes me
  > to a form I'm supposed to fill out, so you can collect
  > even more information about me?
  > http://www.GreetKing.com/remove.asp
  >
  > I have two words for you, and they are not
  > happy birthday.

E-commerce professors got spunk!
------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- -------

SHAMELESS PLUG #1
-----------------
Just a reminder that this newsletter comes to you as a
branding and promotional tool. So far so good on the
branding, but I've taken a fair amount of grief for
not using it as a promotional tool. So here's a gentle
reminder that I can help you with your Web site strategy
and tactics with a variety of workshops:

   Online Strategy Definition
   Pumping Up Web ROI Without Further Expenditures
   Boosting Web Sales
   Boosting Web Traffic
   Lowering Shopping Cart Abandonment
   Using E-Metrics for Continuous Improvement
      And, of course,
   The Sterne Review - Why Your Site Sucks
      (Wherein I say all the things you wish
       *you* could say to your boss - or have
       already and it hasn't helped yet.)
------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- -------

SHAMELESS PLUG, The Usual
-------------------------
Where in the world is Jim Sterne?
What day is it?

Internet World!  New York!
Thursday, December 13 -- All day

   Web Marketing Mastery Forum
   http://www.iw.com/events/fall2001/forums/mastery.php
   The 17 Silver Bullets You Can Implement in Two Days
   The 15 Minute Web Site Assault
   Web Strategy Workshop
   Five Years of Really Bad Web Sites
   - And How to Avoid Having One
   Answers to Your Hardest Web Marketing Questions

And (the good Lord willing and the creek don't rise
and the airline security line isn't more than an
hour long):

Friday, December 14, Los Angeles
DCI's Customer Relationship Management Conference
Measuring Your Success - Comprehending Your Customers
http://www.dci.com/brochure/crmla/

For a further look ahead, there's always:
http://www.targeting.com/upcoming.html

Target Marketing
211 E. Victoria St., Suite E
Santa Barbara, CA 93101
+1 (805) 965-3184 phone
+1 (805) 965-8687 fax

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