Don't Try This at Home

From Full Sterne Ahead

April, 2002
March, 2002
February, 2002
December, 2001
November, 2001
October, 2001
September, 2001
August, 2001
June, 2001
May, 2001
March, 2001
February, 2001
November, 2000
October, 2000
September, 2000
August, 2000
June, 2000
December, 1999
November, 1999
October, 1999
July, 1999
June, 1999

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March, 2002

The folks at eShare have a couple of crossed wires in
their NetAgent v.3,00,75. At least that's the way it
seemed when I used Logitech's Web-based Electronic
Technical Support.

I sent two messages and got two responses within two days
as promised. The first started:

  > Thank you for using Logitech's Electronic Technical
  > Support. My name is Jeremy.

Jeremy suggested I try uninstalling their software, and
messing about with MSCONFIG. His response included my
original question:

   How do I make the volume control buttons
   alter the volume faster?

My next question was:

   My laptop does not boot (hangs at the Window/Sky screen)
   when the receiver is plugged into the USB port.

The reply, which quoted that question at the end, said...

  > Thank you for using Logitech's Electronic Technical
  > Support. My name is Tom.
[snip]
  > I don't believe there are any adjustments to be
  > made for the "speed" of the volume response, However,
  > I have found I get a better response if the speaker
  > volume on the speakers themselves is turned up about
  > halfway. Hope this helps!

I felt like I was in one of those Shakespeare plays with
identical twins switching places. Ooops.

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February, 2002

  From: McAfee.com Clinic Support [ mailto:clinic_support@mcafee.com ]
  Sent: Wednesday, January 02, 2002 7:20 AM
  To: Phil Smith III
  Subject: RE: vso-#4300752262#-
  >  
  > Dear Phil,
  >
  > Thank you for contacting McAfee.com Support Center.  
  > My name is Neeraj S. My support identification number
  > is MIN1101. I would be happy to assist you
  > in answering your question(s) or resolving your
  > issue(s) you have addressed in your email dated  
  > 28/12/01, regarding sulfnbk.exe hoax
  > psmith@sinenomine.net .
[snip]
  > Since sulfnbk.exe is an email attachment, I would
  > like to inform you that VirusScanOnline does not
  > scan email attachments.  It is an on - access scanner,
  > meaning scans the file when you open it.  In order
  > to scan an email attachment, I suggest you to save
  > the attachment on you hard disk, then open it.  If
  > the attachment is virus infected, VirusScanOnline
  > will immediately alert you and ask to clean or
  > delete the file.

This sounds a lot like:

   There are two fixes that are very simple.
   First, point the gun at your head and
   pull the trigger. If there is a live
   bullet in the gun, our technical support
   team will be notified and will come to
   your home to disarm the gun.

   The alternative is to hold the victim
   underwater for five minutes. If the
   victim drowns, she's not a witch.

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December, 2001

In his latest issue of DNRC, Scott Adams danced on the
edge of edginess, when answering his mail, tongue pushed
so firmly in his cheek, he looks like he's choking on a
gobstopper
http://www.comics.com/comics/dilbert/dnrc/index.html

  > Dear Mr. Adams,
  > The pop-up ads on your dilbert.com Web site are annoying!
  > Please make them go away.
  > Tommy

  > Dear Commy,
  > People have learned to ignore Web ads that don't move,
  > so lately advertisers are only willing to pay for pop-up
  > ads. Someday, after you learn to ignore pop-up ads too,
  > then the advertisers will have to drive to your house
  > and tattoo ads directly on your body. You'll be
  > nostalgic for the good old days of pop-up ads. Enjoy
  > them while you can.
  >
  > Or you can go to dilbert.com and sign up for the
  > Daily Dilbert comic and have it e-mailed directly to
  > you, for free, with no pop-up ads. (Seriously.)
  > Sincerely,
  > Dogbert

Yes, you should offer your clients an alternative to
advertising supported material. But you should only
threaten them with inked needles if you're a dog with
a not-so-secret ambition to conquer the world and
enslave all humans ... and the wherewithal to pull it off.

Before we leave Dilbert in the hands of Dogbert, this
timely missive just showed up thanks to Gabe Goldberg :

> On Fri, 14 Dec 2001, Meinhardt, Jocelyn wrote:
> > Hello,
> >
> > > To unsubscribe from the Dilbert Newsletter, please
> > > use the web form at:
> > >
> > > http://www.comics.com/comics/dilbert/dnrc/unsubscribe
> > >
> > Thank you!
> >
> > Jocelyn Meinhardt
> > United Media

To which Gabe responded:

> Sender: gabe@cpcug.org
> To: "Meinhardt, Jocelyn"
> Subject: RE: unsubscribe dnrc

(DNRC is Dilbert's New Ruling Class.
If you have to ask...)

> Thanks for responding on December 14 to my note of
> November 28. First, I've had repeated problems with the
> Web site you suggest I use.
>
> Second, each DNRC mailing says that if the Web site
> doesn't work, to use the email protocol, which I did.
> So your pointing me back to the Web site is unhelpful
> and contradicts official DNRC policy.
>
> Perhaps I should forward this email exchange to Scott
> Adams as a case study.

Satirist, make fun of yourself!

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November, 2001

This month, a quiz from Gabe Goldberg:

  > What key item is missing from note below?

  > Date: Mon, 15 Oct 2001 12:16:03 -0700
  > From: survey@upside.com
  > To: GABE@ACM.ORG
  > Subject: Upside Magazine Quick Survey
  >
  > Upside Magazine is conducting a brief survey to
  > help better understand you and your interests, in
  > order to improve our product for you.
  >
  > We invite you to participate in this survey and
  > answer a few important questions about your business,
  > your reading habits and preferences. It should take
  > just a couple of minutes to complete.
  >
  > As a "Thank you" to those responding, we will
  > include you in a drawing to win an Upside Gift Basket,
  > to be announced on October 26th.
  >
  > To participate in this survey, please click on
  > the following URL:
  > All responses will be used in strict confidence.
  >
  > If you do not care to participate, we thank you
  > for your consideration and apologize for the
  > inconvenience of this e-mail.
  >
  > Thanks very much for your help.
  >
  > Sincerely yours,
  > Robert Wells
  > Publisher, Upside Magazine

All responses will be used in strict confidence?
Shouldn't be hard.

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October, 2001

In reply to last month's FSA, I received an email from
Loren Williams regarding the
brush-up with Replacements.com I described. Loren wrote:

  > I am a Mr., not a Mrs. (last I checked :)

I wrote back my abject apologies and vowed not to drive
over *that* pot hole again. So it is with gender-neutral
caution that I bring you this bit from C. A. (Kit)
Kennard, a subscriber from Ontario Power Generation
http://www.opgdirect.com  Kit was scratching his head,
er, her head... er, wondering about a press release
proclaiming a New Web Presence at the Yahoo Finance site:
http://biz.yahoo.com/prnews/010921/daf009_1.html

The release is dated September 21. Kit pointed out that
as of that auspicious date, the Web site  -
http://www.transenergy-tsrg.com proudly proclaimed:

   OUR WEB SITE IS CURRENTLY UNDER CONSTRUCTION!

As of this writing, that still stands. Take a look and
see if it's still that way as of this reading. It'll
drive them buggy trying to figure out where all the
traffic is coming from.

You only get one shot at your 15 nano-seconds of fame.
Don't blow it.

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September, 2001

  > Delivered-To: jsterne@silcom.com
  > Date: 24 Aug 2001 08:31:19 -0700
  > From: "Coach.com"
  > Subject: Your Coach.com information has changed
  > To: JSTERNE@targeting.com
  >
  > Thank you for your continued interest in Coach.com.
  > As you requested, your e-mail address has been
  > successfully changed to: lostdeals@aol.com
  >
  > This message has been sent to your old e-mail
  > address, as well as your new address. If this
  > change is correct, you may disregard both messages.
  > If you have any questions or concerns, please
  > contact us at comments@coach.com.

I have no intention of changing my email address. Ever.
And if I did, lostdeals@aol.com would be very close to
my last choice.

After sending off a nasty graham, telling Coach that
they should consider a double-opt-out policy, I looked
again at the return e-mail address. That prompted me to
head over to http://www.m0.net where I was told, "You
have reached a Digital Impact web server."

So I went to http://www.digitalimpact.com and found a
legitimate looking email marketing company with Coach
listed as one of their clients.

Coach: Time to ask for a refund.

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August, 2001

  > From:    TodayAtAU@american.edu [SMTP:TodayAtAU@american.edu]
  > Sent:    Monday, July 23, 2001 1:39 PM
  > To:      Frank Strong
  > Subject: Re: unsubscribe
  >
  > I'm sorry you can NOT be removed from this service.  
  > The computer use policy allows AU to contact AU  
  > staff, faculty and students as needed.
  >
  > AU is starting to implement a paperless university
  > and all communication from the university will be
  > in the form of email.

What made Frank want to unsubscribe? The totality of AU
News and announcements of critical importance for all American
University staff, faculty and students as of Monday, July 23 was
a paragraph entitled, "Women's Tennis Team Named Academic All-Americans".

Frank knows it's a slippery slope.

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June, 2001

I often wish that e-mail systems included spell-check
for the Subject filed. Until then:

From: specialtyfoodnews@foodinstitute.com
To: jsterne@targeting.com
Subject: Specialty Fod News [tm] - Friday

> Apr. 27, 2001
>
> Starbucks Corp. is hoping to capitalize on lower real-
> estate prices and open 100 more stores than the 1,100
> previously announced. Worldwide, Starbucks operates
> 4,135 coffee stores, reported The Wall Street Journal.

[snip]

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March, 2001

All I can say about the Coach Store's e-mail is that
they should ask people if they wish to receive HTML mail.
I have mine set to ASCII only, so the new Coach offers,
in total, arrive looking like this:

  > Date: Tue, 1 May 2001 15:35:31 -0700 (PDT)
  > From: "Coach.com"
  > To: JSTERNE@targeting.com
  > Subject: Mother's Day Shopping Made Easy
  >
  > If you wish to unsubscribe, click below:
  > http://coach1.m0.net/m/u/cch/c.asp?e=JSTERNE%40targeting.com

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March, 2001

I've always been a strong advocate of opt-in and I
won't stop. But I find myself slowing down a bit
when I received a note from Amazon.

  > Date: 6 Mar 2001 19:23:16 -0800
  > To: jsterne@targeting.com
  > From: "Amazon.com"
  > Subject: Introducing Amazon.com Delivers Science Fiction &
  > Fantasy
  >
  > Dear Amazon Customer,
  >
  > As someone who's purchased science fiction and
  > fantasy books in the past, you might be interested
  > in our e-mail newsletter Amazon.com Delivers Science
  > Fiction & Fantasy.

[persuasion content snipped]

  > Look for your Science Fiction & Fantasy newsletter
  > in your inbox every few weeks. We hope you'll like
  > this regular e-mail, but if not, just click the
  > Subscriptions Update link below to unsubscribe. Or
  > tailor Delivers to your tastes and select from over
  > 150 categories in books, music, movies, and more.
  >
  > Happy reading!
  >
  > The Amazon.com Delivers Team

You see - I *like* science fiction. I know that Amazon
knows that. I was pleased about this new service. Does
that make it spam?

Yes.

What?! Spam from Amazon?

Yes.

Bottom line: it makes no difference how much you *think*
your customers might like it. It doesn't even matter
if, in fact, they *do* like it. Unsolicited commercial
e-mail is spam and it's a marketing no-no.

Amazon is starting to wander off the Internet-friendly
path. I invite you who are Amazon affiliates to see
what Amazon is serving up when you direct others to
buy a book there.

They seem to be doing their best to thwart your best
efforts to make a sale by not showing the page the
book is on. Instead, they show a page with that book,
a link to that book's page, and a whole bunch of
other books the surfer might like as well (instead?).

I'd never have known if my quarterly commission from
Amazon hadn't been one-fifth the size. They never
bothered to tell me. Harrumph.

Seems Amazon and WalMart are closer together in customer
care philosophy than we thought.

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February, 2001

I received the December newsletter from Bartlett, Pringle
& Wolf, a local Santa Barbara accounting firm along with
the e-mail addresses of 199 others whose names start with
"j". They were kind enough to include them in the To: field.

The first headline read in bold?

    Who Needs an Audit?

Accountant, account for thyself! And now you know why
I count on www.sparklist.com to manage this stuff for
me. Those who have been subscribers for longer than
you care to admit will remember a few operator errors
in the past. Don't let it happen to you.

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November, 2000

After several weeks on the road, I finally had the chance tomake use of a terminal adapter for my laptop that I had ordered from Microwarehouse. Turned out to be the wrong adapter. Looked like the right thing, but when it came time to plug it in at Internet World - it wouldn't fit in the port replicator slot.I bought my laptop from them so it was safe to assume they'dsend me the correct part. Then I went on a three week travelling jag and finally had a chance to rectify the situation at the beginning of this month. The response was sub-optimal:

  > At 10:00 AM 11/7/00 , WojtowiczE@MWHSE.com wrote:
  >
  > Hello James!
  > I do apologize, but the vendor will not accept this
  > adapter back from us. You can try contacting the manufacturer
  > Sony at 800-222-7669. Thank you.
  > Have A Great Day!
  > Evelyn Wojtowicz
  > Customer Service
  > X 34328
  > 800-925-6227
  > wojtowicze@mwhse.com

I wrote back:

  > OK - just so I have this story straight...
  >
  > You sent me the wrong part, and you won't take it back.
  > Does that about sum it up?

They confirmed:

  > From: WojtowiczE@MWHSE.com
  >
  > I do apologize, but returns are within 30 days. The vendor
  > will not make an exception.
  > Have A Great Day!
  > Evelyn Wojtowicz
  > Customer Service

I opined:

  > Let me see if I can sum this up again...
  > The vendor's policy of no returns is now your
  > policy for no returns and you're willing to lose
  > a customer over this, but not take responsibility
  > for it? That about right?
  >
  > Have a great day ??

No reply...

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October, 2000

David Parrett wrote to tell me about
his experience with the :Clueless:Cat scanner:

   > I recently received a :Cue:Cat from a contact at Forbes
   > In the package was a Radio Shack brochure which allowed
   > the reader to scan various barcodes to reach the
   > corresponding product pages on their website. It could
   > have been a terrific promotion, had the scanned links
   > targeted the right location!  Instead, I was sent to a
   > Radio Shack page which told me that I had either entered
   > the url incorrectly or the information had been moved.

The Radio Shack Web development team seems to be running
low on batteries.

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September, 2000

Cliff Kurtzman suggested we get together for dinner while we
were in the Big Apple. He picked a place where he could make
a reservation online. He picked well.... with one exception:

  > From: "Richard LoPuzzo"
  > To:
  > Subject: Reservation at Aureole
  > Date: Tue, 29 Aug 2000 16:48:31 -0400
  >
  > Dear Mr. Kurtzman,
  >
  > In response to your fax, a reservation has been made for 2
  > people on Aug 29th at 7pm.  Please call the day before to
  > confirm your table. (212) 319-1660
  >
  > Thank you.
  > Aureole

The problem? It would have taken a time machine to confirm the
reservation day before dining.

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August, 2000

I got my first extortion e-mail the other day. It was from
Marty Roth and said:

   You are sending Unsolicited Commercial E-mail via a
   mismanaged mailing list.  Your current policies allow
   forged subscriptions and require people to opt-out of
   mailing lists that they never requested. This is not
   acceptable in today's internet environment and is cause
   for listing in the MAPS-RBL.  Please see
   www.mail-abuse.org/rbl/candidacy.html for more
   information.

   Correctly managed mailing lists use a process of confirmed,
   closed loop opt-in which requires a positive response by
   the owner of the e-mail address which was subscribed, in
   order for that address to be included on the mailing list.  
   Please see  www.mail-abuse.org/rbl/manage.html for correct
   mailing list management policies.

Now I admit that I had, indeed, configured the listserver I
employ to accept e-mail addresses without a confirmation.
But I also admit that I was a little miffed at having somebody
send me a quasi-spam to lecture me on netiquette.

He was right, of course. One shouldn't allow others to inflict
pain on others though one's newsletter. But then Marty got
under my skin.
  
   If you do not respond with a valid plan and timetable for
   correcting the current problems with your mailing list
   within the next 24 hours, I will have no recourse but to
   submit an RBL Nomination for some or all of the following
   addresses:

The RBL is the Realtime Blackhole List which ISPs subscribe to in
order to cut down on spam. If an IP address is listed there,
ISPs can block all e-mail traffic from that site. This is the
service that AOL used to block an e-mail surveys going from
Harris Interactive (as in Harris Poll) to their opt-in members
resulting in Harris suing AOL.

Marty then listed the IP address of my ISP, several DNS servers
they use, and the specific machine my site is hosted on (along
with countless others).

Marty threw down the gauntlet and gave me 24 hours before he
was going to take action that would result in the black listing
and therefore cessation of my e-mail, the e-mail of the sites
hosted on the same server, and the e-mail of thousands of
people who use the same ISP.

What if, as I've experienced several times, I were traveling
and unable to read Marty's message for several days? Fortunately,
I was home to receive his extraordinary, make that extortionary
message.

So I popped over to Sparklist.com, click a couple of buttons,
and it was done. I wrote Marty back telling him that my
timetable was: already fixed.

Marty wrote back:

   Jim,
  
   I went and subscribed today to your list and it is NOT fixed:
  
   >Dear Marty,
   >Welcome to the Scientific Marketing Ezine!
  
    ---------------------------------
  
   Jim, I really want you to work with mail-abuse.org to cleanup
   your list, and I need a timetable from you of when and how this
   is going to happen. I rather see you fix your list than have to
   nominate your IP's to the rbl, but I will if I don't see evidence
   to correct this. Can I count on you?
  
   Marty Roth
   Incon Research Abuse

I've never heard of the Scientific Marketing Ezine.
And that, my friends, is why vigilantism is dangerous.

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June, 2000

I was in my in-flight office, having looked away from the
screen just long enough to avoid yet another assault of Buntings
Window, when I saw the tail end of a paid-for-content report
on something called www.metamarket.com. I didn't take
the time to make detailed notes, but I did write down the URL
for perusal from my in-hotel office.

When I got there, I was greeted by, "Server not found."

For crying out loud.

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December, 1999

www.boo.com

This too-hip-gotta-go Web site is far out it's gone past
cool and has looped back to being far out. Megbucks (sorry,
Mega Pounds - it's British) spent on the creation and
launch of this over-blown e-commerce site for the terminally
trendy.

As boo themselves said in a very well considered critique
by Alex Dunne and posted to www.chinwag.com/uk-netmarketing

> Our website has been designed with the new browser and
> Internet connection technology in mind, using the most
> innovative techniques around today, which is why it may
> be experienced as slow on some Internet connections.

You're not using a cable modem? How 1998!

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November, 1999

Where are your best ideas going to come from next? Directed
dreaming? The Psychic Friends Network? The Mystic 8 Ball?
(Ask again later.)

How about your customers?

It doesn't cost that much to create an opt-in e-mail list.
Heck, even *I* did it. But what happens when you take
it to its illogical extreme? You end up out on a limb like
E-Compare.

Yes, the very same company that made a name for itself waking
up the SEC with their offer of free stock to people who entered
their names in the Web database.

Are they looking for help improving their products? Are they
asking for ideas on creating a better service experience? Are
they reaching out in hopes of besting their competitors? It's
a little more fundamental than that. They're asking their
customers, excuse me, their shareholders, for help figuring
out how to make money.

   Dear Shareholders,

   We are actively seeking your input to improve our business
   model.  We have great confidence that we have smart
   stockholders who can think creatively. Send us your
   thoughts and ideas for how E-Compare can become more
   profitable. We will present $1,000 to the E-Compare
   stockholder who comes up with the best contributions to our
   business planning process.

Hey friends! We're plumb out of ideas out here. We can't seem
to find two brain cells to rub together and it's up to you
to make your stock worth more than the electrons it was
printed with.

   We have one of the best technologies in the world for live
   searching and processing information over Internet.  Our
   infrastructure and engineering team are among the best in
   the business.

It's just our senior managers who are a few angle brackets
short of a home page.

   Like the majority of Internet companies, we face the problem
   of how to earn profits -- profits which mean higher returns to
   our shareholders.  We would like to explore other applications
   of our technologies, develop other technologies or branch into
   other fields.

Who was the genius who unleashed this puppy onto the Internet?
It came From: ecompare@ecompare.com and was signed, Best wishes, President, E-Compare Corporation. In other words, it was from a nameless, faceless entity.

The topper was the P.S.

   If your email address has changed, please change the
   address by yourself at our website.

If this is a wrong number, how come you answered the phone!?!

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October, 1999


I tried to warn Ann Marie about The Meat-Cleaver Diet:

>   Date: Thu, 23 Sep 99 01:49:25 EST
>   From: feelgreat@boom.com
>   To: Friend@public.com
>   Subject: Lose up to15 INCHES in one HOUR
>  
>   100% Herbal Fat Shrinking Breakthrough
>   ************************************************
>   http://209.135.24.52
>   Lose 5-15 inches in just hour, permanently!
>   Herbal breakthrough actually shrinks fat cells.
>   Sound too good to be true?
>   10 years & 1000's of satisfied customers already.
>  
>   "I lost 11 1/2 inches in just one hour. I couldn't  
>   believe my eyes."
>   Ann Marie  NY
>  
>   With our 100% Risk-FREE offer,
>   you truly have nothing
>   to lose, except inches !
>  
>   Click here for exciting details.
>   http://209.135.24.64

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July, 1999

I wrote the following in reply to a message received from
a customer service person @Dell.com who wrote:
---------------------------
>Jim,
>
>Please accept my apologies with the confusion on your order.  

Thanks.

>At Dell our mission is to provide the best quality and
>support and for that I hope we can provide a more positive
>experience for you.  Thank you for submitting your comments
>and suggestions and for reporting your concerns to us at
>Gigabuys.  

I'm glad to think that my observations are noticed.

>Our Grand Opening has proven quite successful.  I have
>forwarded your concerns regarding the problems you have
>found on our website.  Our Gigabuys website is interactive
>with our Dell.online Store, however, our customer support
>for Gigabuys is a team separate from our dell on-line
>customer support.  It seems as though your original com-
>munication was being handled by the dell.online customer
>support.  If you have any questions in the future, the
>Gigabuys customer support team will be more than happy to
>assist you at Gigabuys_support@dell.com.  

Er - so the form I filled out on the GigaBuys Help pages
went to the wrong person? Let me suggest you don't share
that with other customers - it doesn't raise confidence.

>Based on the Return Request Form you filled out, you had
>noted that the box was not open, therefore, I did not charge
>you at 15% repackaging fee.  We don't believe in charging
>a 15% restocking fee, however, if the box is open, we are
>charged a 15% repackaging fee by our distributor.  This
>fee is not negotiable, nor are we able to resell the product
>as new because the manufacturer seal is broken.  I will
>leave your Credit Return Authorization as 100% credit of
>the product and again apologize for the less than positive
>experience you've had.

I checked that box because I didn't *want* to be charged
a fee that seemed uncalled for and excessive.

If you're forced to charge me 15% because I opened the box
and unwrapped the plastic cover of the computer case so I
could examine it - then you do what you must and I'll do
what I must - decline the charge when it shows up on my
credit card.

Megan - this is not really an e-mail to you, it's to the
people to whom you forwarded my previous concerns.

Your repackaging policy is a fine example of shaving too
much off the price in order to be competitive. It is logical
and may be deemed as sound by those who run the spreadsheets.
But here's the effect you have on the consumer:

   Why sure, Mr. Customer! You can buy this product and
   we garr-ann-TEE it to be the finest in the land, no
   foolin' and you can get all your money back no questions
   asked.

   Oh - just one itty-bitty thing - we're sure you'll understand -
   when you get the package, we want you to shake it, x-ray it,
   hold it up to the light, smell it, weigh it, and press it
   against your forehead. If you don't like it - you can send
   it RIGHT back to us and we'll happily refund your money.
   Really! We promise!

   But - now pay attention here - should you have the temerity
   to open it up and actually LOOK at the product before you
   decide... Well! Then we'll have no choice but to reach
   right into your credit card and pinch a bit for the guys
   in the back room who are going to have to figure out a
   way to put some more packing tape on the box. And you
   KNOW how expensive *that* can be.

   Y'all have a nice day :-)

I'd have happily paid an additional $2 per order in exchange
for a money-back guarantee that was real.

>Please reply to this e-mail if I can be of further assistance
>regarding your order.

Megan - you have been a gem - thoughtful and diligent and
I thank you for your time and trouble. Just don't expect to
see my cookie hanging around Gigabuys too often in the near
future.

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June, 1999

Last month, I pointed to Swatch's new conception, the Internet
Beat (www.swatch.com/alu_beat/fs_itime.html)
I even went so far as to introduce it with the words: "Swatch
has branded time." Then I solicited responses.

The replies were divided right down the middle. Harried marcom
managers wrote in to say that coordinating conference calls in
seven cities was a nightmare and the Beat really helped. Those
who began their tender young lives as engineers lashed out at
the absurdity of it.

I was astonished. These people were taking the whole thing
seriously. Thousands of people have downloaded the Swatch time
converter and it runs on their desktop all day long with the
Swatch logo prominently displayed. Thousands of Beat watches
are being sold in the marketplace. Hundreds of reporters are
writing about it. It's a PR flack's dream.

Heck -- I just thought it was a brilliant marketing move.

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