Marketing Marvels
From Full Sterne Ahead
Full Sterne Ahead contains the mostly monthly musings of Jim Sterne, author, speaker, and Web marketing consultant to business and industry.
April, 2002
http://www.MarketingProfs.com - Marketing news, weather,
business and sports, and some familiar authors it's nice
to see again like Ann Handley, Paul J. Bruemmer, and
Nick Usborne. Don't forget to check out the Marketing
Resources section.
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March, 2002
I don't make this stuff up - I couldn't.
From: lorie pooley
To:
Subject: Last Days : 200 million E-Mails=Massive Profit!!!
Date: Sat, 9 Mar 2002 00:10:56 -0600
>
> Hello : Get 200 Million Fresh E-Mails To Make Your
> Sales Skyrocket! Goto:
> http://216.156.64.2/leo/marketforce.htm
> Thank You!
> NEVER SEND SPAM. IT IS BAD.
>
> Do You Yahoo!?
I certainly did when I read *that*.
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February, 2002
Marketing Program:
1. Spam prospects
2. Insult prospects
3. Tell prospects they are not on a list
4. Tell prospects how to get off the list they are not on
Date: Fri, 18 Jan 2002 23:58:09 -0800 (PST)
From: hung nguyen
Subject: Marketing needed
To: jsterne@targeting.com
>
> Hi
> I incidently came across your info/resume on the Net.
> I email you since you state that you have marketing
> background.
> I have a security product for home and business to
> sell. If you have connections that you can build a
> small team, you will be qualified to be an agent.
> The problem is that I am in Garden Grove, California.
> If you are here, you don't need a team. I can train
> you.
[snip]
> I notice that your website is not pretty yet.
> You can re-design it with us. We offer a low cost
> solution:
> http://www.ewebs.tv/prices.htm
> This is not a spamming email, you are not on any list.
> However, you can reply to this email with the
> "Remove" word in the subject line, I won't email you
> from now on for the future marketing project.
> Sincerely,
> Hung
Not yet, but I'd be willing to help tie the rope.
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December, 2001
Just a quick follow up to last FSA where I announced my
delight with Lexus for advertising online to get people
to watch a TV ad:
One quarter of all 280,000 TiVo owners watched the ad
for Lexus. Not bad at all.
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November, 2001
You've heard the latest report that the Internet is
taking time away from TV, right? No tears here.
But I was intrigued by an email from TiVo (of which I
am a major fan), that caused me to turn on the TV to
watch a commercial. Really.
> From: TiVo News
> To: jsterne@targeting.com
> Subject: Win The All-New Lexus ES 300
>
> Enter the Lexus ES 300 "A New World of Luxury" TiVo
> Sweepstakes and you could win the all-new Lexus ES 300.
[Automobilia snipped]
> To begin playing, visit the Lexus Showcase from TiVo
> Central. There you'll find the list of programs where
> the Lexus ES 300 ads will be running. View them
> carefully, because once you've seen the ads, you'll
> have to answer just one of the following questions
> about the commercials.
[Simple questions snipped]
> In order to register for the sweepstakes, answer one
> of the questions online at www.lexus.com/tivo. Answer
> correctly, and you will be entered to win a luxurious
> Lexus ES 300.
[snip]
Now that's what I call driving traffic.
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September, 2001
> Date: Tue, 28 Aug 2001 11:04:49 -0700
> To: Jim Sterne
> From: Alanna Coyne
> Subject: waffles
>
> Here is the story:
> The cold call ended with: Do you have any clients
> who might be interested in using frequent flier
> miles as incentives? But by this point, I couldn't
> stop laughing so I pushed the mute button while I
> regained my composure.
>
> "Let's say you go to the grocery store and you
> see Kellogg's products" is how he started. On the
> back of Kellogg's boxes they sometimes have 500-mile
> frequent flier coupons. So, the marketing marvels at
> Apex Marketing buy Kellogg's waffles by "semi-loads"
> and sell the coupons for $10 each to other businesses
> to use as incentives.
>
> Of course, I had to ask: What happens to the waffles?
> He did say "semi-loads."
>
> Let's just say there is bound to be a shortage of
> syrup at his local charities. The company is Apex
> Marketing, based in Utah. No Web site, just "a room
> full of coupons."
And now you know why I hired Alanna to help me out.
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August, 2001
"Everyone's talking about AdSlap, the online ad technology
that users simply can't ignore. AdSlap banners are
specially coded to pop up when you come to a page; the
banners then trigger a process whereby you are slapped
across the face and a glass of water is dumped in your lap.
"Needless to say, AdSlap breaks through the clutter --
brand awareness and ad recall are through the roof (even
better than TV). Click-through rates are much higher than
average. Bottom line: AdSlap can be an effective tool, as
long as you can live with the hate mail and product
boycotts."
From the article:
http://www.clickz.com/mkt/emkt_strat/article.php/844581
by:
Jeffrey Graham http://www.dynamiclogic.com
Not to be confused with my brother-in-law Jeffrey Graham at:
http://www.cpagraham.com
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June, 2001
To: <184@netposta.net>
From: buadq@home.ro
Subject: Perform Baptisms!
>
> Minister Charles Simpson has the power to make you a
> LEGALLY ORDAINED MINISTER within 48 hours!!!!
>
> BE ORDAINED NOW!
>
> As a minister, you will be authorized to perform the
> rites and ceremonies of the church!!
>
> WEDDINGS
> MARRY your BROTHER, SISTER, or your BEST FRIEND!!
> Don't settle for being the BEST MAN OR BRIDES' MAID
> Most states require that you register your certificate
> (THAT WE SEND YOU) with the state prior to conducting
> the ceremony.
>
> FUNERALS
> A very hard time for you and your family
> Don't settle for a minister you don't know!!
> Most states require that you register your certificate
> (THAT WE SEND YOU) with the state prior to conducting
> the ceremony.
>
> BAPTISMS
> You can say "WELCOME TO THE WORLD!!!! I AM YOUR
> MINISTER AND YOUR UNCLE!!" What a special way to
> welcome a child of God.
>
> FORGIVENESS OF SINS
> The Catholic Church has practiced the forgiveness of
> sins for centuries
> **Forgiveness of Sins is granted to all who ask in
> sincerity and willingness to change for the better!!
>
> VISIT CORRECTIONAL FACILITIES
> Since you will be a Certified Minister, you can visit
> others in need!!
> Preach the Word of God to those who have strayed
> from the flock
>
> WANT TO START YOUR OWN CHURCH??
> After your LEGAL ORDINATION, you may start your own
> congregation!!
Too many choices! Like the Lottery - what would you
do first? Marry your sister or go to a correctional
facility?
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