While I was out

From Full Sterne Ahead

August, 2001
June, 2001
May, 2001
March, 2001
February, 2001
November, 2000
September, 2000
August, 2000
June, 2000
May, 2000
April, 2000
February, 2000
December, 1999
November, 1999
October, 1999
June, 1999
May, 1999
March, 1999
January, 1999
December, 1998
November, 1998

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June, 2001

After sharing a jelly fish dinner at a swanky Chinese
restaurant in London with Sam Michel (newlywed and
maestro of the UK Net Marketing discussion list to be
found at http://www.chinwag.com/uk-netmarketing),
I decided it was high time I re-subscribed to the
active intercourse. I was immediately rewarded with
the following:


From: "Tim Ireland"
To: uk-netmarketing@lists.chinwag.com
Subject: a data protection question
Date: Tue, 19 Jun 2001 16:29:16 +0100


> From: "Tom Samuels"
> > question: is it a data protection no-no to contact
> > (via SMS or e-mail) business contacts who have
> > handed over their business cards to us, and asking
> > them to opt in to receiving further contacts?
> >
> > Tom Samuels
> > getmapping

Tim responded:

> Note to self - new business card design to include
> the following opt-out message:
>
> "This card is given as contact information only and
> is for the exclusive use of the direct recipient only.
> Occasionally you might like to contact me by post,
> telephone, mobile text message or email with generic
> news about your products and services, or products
> and services of carefully selected third parties.
> By marking this box, I am telling you to f**k off
> out of it. [X]"
>
> Oh, and while I'm about it, I may as well add:
>
> "This card serves the express purpose of providing you
> with my details as part of an agreement (in principle)
> that we might do business someday. Writing somebody
> else's number on the back, using it to pad out the
> card-holder you got for Christmas or attaching it
> to the spokes of your bike violates this agreement."
>
> Tim Ireland
> Director of Marketing
> www.designercity.com

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May, 2001

Daniel Rix of the London Speakers Bureau and I were
joined at lunch in Covent Garden by John Peters, the
RAF pilot who was shot down over Iraq in the Gulf War.
He now runs a consulting firm that specializes in the,
"Provision of a comprehensive package of investigation,
analysis and practical application of leadership,
communication and teambuilding skills backed up by
recognised achievement and inspirational real-life
experience." www.uphltd.com


Hard to come by a real-life experience that's more
inspirational. In fact, two other people I spoke to
during my brief London stay had heard John speak and
both said he was an astonishing speaker!
http://www.interphiz.com/jpeters.html

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March, 2001

Back before Hector was a pup, I sold software to the
government. I will count myself blessed if I never have
to negotiate another GSA contract and would prefer death
by streaming banner ads rather than live through another
government contracts audit.

During that time, I took a tour of a special room at the
Army's Fort Monmouth - a lead-lined room that was under
construction. More than lead, actually. The walls, floor,
and ceiling had a layer of lead, another of copper, an
odd array of wires acting as an electronic screen around
the whole mess, and at least four other materials they
wouldn't discuss and several devices that they had draped
with sheets before they allowed me in.

The point was to prevent any form of van Eck phreaking -
the reading of stray electrons from across the room,
or across town, although they didn't call it that back
then.

Fifteen years later, I found myself in the Zurich home
of fellow company board member. While awaiting dinner,
I was captivated by his two and a half year old son,
navigating the living room floor with his remote-controlled
Donald-Duck-in-an-airplane-on-wheels. After a cozy meal
our host wanted to show off his latest home improvement.

He pressed a button on the wall that lit up with a
gentle glow, opened his laptop on the couch and
explained that he had just booted the server in the
basement. The wireless server. The multi-megabit
wireless server. I was about to ask how easy it might
be to engage in a little van Eck phreaking when I was
interrupted by Donald Duck.

We could clearly see the controller, untouched, on the
floor by the TV. But here was Donald, turning lazy loops
in his bright blue and yellow airplane in the middle
of the living room. We stared.

Our hostess laughed, "Oh, it always does that when the
server is booting and the wireless system is acquiring
clients."

Someday, "all modern conveniences" may include lead
lined walls. In the meantime, please do as they ask
and discontinue use of your laptop and all other
electronic devices during take off and landing.

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February, 2001

It's rare for me to go to a conference when I am not a
speaker. It's not just the fact that I dearly love the
sound of my own voice, it's that I go to so many and get
to hear such wonderful people in the course of my regular
speaking tours. But I went to the Palace of Fine Arts
in San Francisco to see Jakob Neilsen's World Tour and
was not disappointed.


If you haven't seen Jakob give a presentation - make a
point of it. If you're in a location where you can catch
the last of his World Tour, I recommend it highly. Jakob's
not just very informative and entertaining, he's right!


I'll be one of the many to point out that his own Web site
at www.useit.com is just a bit emaciated, but he
constantly hits the nail on the head when it comes to
simplicity of design and usability.  


If it sounds like I am getting some commercial gain from
this plug, I'm not. You can find that here:
www.targeting.com/recommend.html

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November, 2000

I've really been out this time. Since the last FSA (which
stands for Full Sterne Ahead for those of you who haven't
been brainwashed by my brilliant branding abilities), I have
been to Brazil, New Zealand, Dubai (look it up), Orlando,
Boston, New York, Washington D.C., Atlanta, San Francisco
and I'm sending this FSA from London.

So here's what I learned: United Airlines has a flight-
schedule application you can download in order to find out
when they're flying where without having to browse, e-mail,
WAP, call, or carry around a 400 page book. Nice.

Keep thinking about ways you can help your customers get on
with the business of business and of living. They will
thank you.

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September, 2000

I thoroughly enjoyed the company of my fellow marketers/judges
at our meeting in Boston for the ClickZ MessageMedia Email
Excellence Awards. After reviewing just south of 200 newsletters,
and being a newsletter writer myself, I'm compelled to encourage
you to do the same. Who won? You'll have to wait until their
announcement November 14 www.emailexcellence.com

Until then, here are a few thoughts on making yours an asset
instead of an eyesore:

1. Offer Value
   Yes, your new products and services are of interest
   but they should not be the center-point of your
   bulletins. Instead, focus on interesting, valuable,
   useful, and actionable information for your readers.

2. Attitude Counts
   Maintain your tone of voice. We want to hear from *you*
   and about what *you* think. We know what you sell. We're
   interested in what's new. But we really want to know how
   you feel about things. What's your take?

3. Be Brief
   This issue of Full Sterne Ahead is waaaaay too long for
   easy consumption. I stopped reading some of my favorite
   newsletters because they just piled up waiting for me to
   find enough time. How can I advise you to follow a rule
   I'm breaking at this very moment? My very best advice is
   always directed toward myself.

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August, 2000

I was standing in the lobby of the Copthorne Tara Hotel in
London with a couple of dozen other travelers scattered
about the place when a mobile phone rang. The tune was
unmistakable: the theme from James Bond. None of us had
heard it on a phone before but we all knew it by heart.
Dah-Dah De Dahhh De Dut-Dut. All conversation stopped and
all movement ceased. We all craned our necks to spot the
owner, who was turning the most wonderful shade of crimson.
Then we all looked at our own reactions and the lobby was
instantly filled with laughter. Aren't humans wonderful?

But I was left wondering how long it would be until some
enterprising marketeer started handing out free phones that
sing out "GE - We bring good things to life," the tune for
Kit Kat Bars, or that instantly recognizable four notes that
let the world know that there's an Intel inside.

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June, 2000

This year's Internet World conference in Berlin was bigger,
better, and more glitzy than ever. Big Business in Germany has
finally discovered the Web.

There were two-story booths, slinky models in place of trained
sales people (why? WHY?), and strange 'happenings' in the aisles.
I was halted in my progress toward my presentation hall by eight
strapping, smiling, young show stoppers in white coveralls. They
accosted a woman in a business suit, hoisted her over their
shoulders and essentially used her as a human baton. To the beat
of good old Deutsche technomusik, they whirled her this way,
lifted her that way, threw her straight up into the air and
gently set her on her feet a split second before she hit the
ground. (Yes, it turned out she was one of the performers.)

I stood and listened for four minutes, refreshed by the lack
of liability lawyers on hand and trying to figure out what the
display had to do with DSL services. I finally turned to my native
friends and asked what I was missing. "It's all about teamwork!"
they exclaimed. Yes, I knew that, but what did it have to do
with their services? "Oh nothing - but it made you stand and
watch, didn't it?" Bad branding seems to know no borders.

But that's not what I wanted to talk about... I wanted to offer
up a cautionary tale for those glued to this Web business that
I learned in Roundup, Montana. (North out of Billings just
past the fourth or fifth deer crossing the road.) I was up that
way to participate in a weekend gathering of Schipperkes
www.bullmtn.com/oleoranch/sry2k.htm and had spent
the previous five days driving through Yellowstone and marveling
at the Beartooth Highway (highly recommended).

During this cowboy-country gathering of dog lovers, I told my
wife that I had overheard our host talking about working for
Cisco. We shook our heads once again at how pervasive the Web really is.

When it was time to say our good-byes, we invited Warren and
Sandy to visit us in California the next time they got out
to Cisco headquarters. Warren looked puzzled and drawled that
he made it to their main office in Houston a few times a year
but they'd be mighty pleased to see us if they ever made it out
to Santa Barbara.

On our way to the airport the next morning I slapped myself
on the forehead realizing that Warren must work for Sysco "North America's Leading Marketer of Quality Assured Foodservice Products."
Ooops.

The moral of the story - when you see a Web site lurking behind
every door, you need a longer vacation.

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May, 2000

We announced the above-mentioned Emetrics paper on the first
of May at the Net Genesis User Group Conference in Boston.

During my moment in the sun up on stage, I was talking about
measuring your communication effectiveness. "Answer your e-mail!" is my usual battle cry. This time, I also talked about how
1800Flowers.com is making use of one-to-one chat.

I showed screen shots of my chat session with one woman who,
when asked what it was like, answered, "Busy!" Before I could
finish apologizing, she had transferred me to her supervisor.
Marc was very gracious and gave me the inside scoop on managing e-chatters, which I like to share with my audiences.

At the end of my presentation, one of the people who came to
the podium to speak with me was actually *from* 1800Flowers -
a Net Genesis customer. He thanked me for showing their site
and saying nice things about them. "Oh," he said, pointing to
the young man next to him, "and I'd like to introduce you to
Marc."

I was stunned. The chat conversation occurred and the screen
shots were taken over a year ago. Yet, here was the real Marc
Noel standing before me.

Do you know what it feels like to meet a celebrity in person?
I do.

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April, 2000

We were sitting on the tarmac, all 267 of us, waiting to go
to Frankfurt. Just waiting. They never tell you what you're
waiting for, they just make you wait.

Then the power went off.

This was not one of the flight attendants learning the
difference between the reading lights and the cabin lights.
This was not one of those quick switch overs from external
to internal power. This was a total, complete, pitch dark,
silent-as-the-tomb, blackout.

After thirty seconds people were clearing their throats and
shifting in their seats. After a minute, there was the rising
hum of myriad murmurs.

Then the lights came on.

"Ladies and gentlemen, you undoubtedly noticed that we've
been playing with the power on this aircraft. It seems we've
had a very serious alarm in the cockpit telling us that our
landing gear doors would not open."

The passengers were grimly silent.

"Seeing as how they *are* open and we're resting on our
landing gear at this very moment, the pilots thought they'd
try something you probably do every day - they rebooted
the plane.

"In a few minutes, all of the systems on the plane will have
woken up and re-introduced themselves to each other and we'll
be on our way. Thank you for your patience."

The whole flight I was thinking about that old joke,
If Airplanes Ran On Operating Systems

It's no joke.

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February, 2000

In the past couple of months I met with large companies
in the U.S., Germany, and Spain and I kept running up
against the same question combo: How small is too small
for autonomy? How big is too big for centralization?

There are economies of scale to be enjoyed by having one,
central point of Web management for a large company. The
investment in hardware, software, people and techniques
should not have to be duplicated over and over again by
each division or department or business unit.

But there comes a time when the Central Committee cannot
keep track of each industry segment. There comes a time when
the Committee is just going to move too darned slow, wrapped
up in the struggle to be all things to all people. It *is*
a Committee, after all.

Where does this centralization conundrum balance in light
of the need to build a single, customer centric system throughout
a company? Those who are now looking for that bit of blinding
insight are not alone. I too seek the light. Any hints would be
deeply appreciated.

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December, 1999

While I was in London this time around, I heard the same thing
I heard in New York, Vancouver and Los Angeles: This is the
big one. This is the Christmas that's going to make or break
some pretty bog consumer Web sites.

Will their banners go unclicked? Will their servers melt?
Will their fulfillment process crash and burn?

With all the money that's been put on the come line buying
advertising (Super Bowl is now $4 million per minute),
all the money put into infrastructure and all the money
wrapped up in over-night-deliverable inventory, only
those with the best Mystic 8 Ball will survive.

Y2K? Not to worry. Christmas 99? Yikes!

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November, 1999

Let's see - Scottsdale, Louisville, Reykjavik - they all allowed
me to fetch my e-mail with my global dial-up account through UUNet.

But I was worried when I checked www.uu.net/network/pops/
and didn't see an entry for Seoul. I was not looking forward to
paying hotel rates for calls from Korea to Japan.

Then I saw a little folder entitled, "How to Set Up and Use the
Internet." I had a choice of the wireless keyboard by the TV set,
or use my own laptop for a 56.6 connection. Local calls at 20
cents per minute. It's a wired, wired world out there.

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October, 1999

It didn't happen when I checked into my London hotel this
morning. Didn't happen in Park City, Utah.

But it did happen in Miami, San Diego, Newport Beach,
Dallas and Chicago: I found myself on the receiving end
of a queasy opt-out.

While I was checking in to each of these major, name-brand
hotels, I was informed that $1 would be added to my bill
for donation to the United Way. If, I was told, I did not
wish to make this donation, all I needed to do was inform
them that I wanted it taken off the bill.

There was a line of people behind me, listening intently
now because I had already been handed my room key. Was I
going to ask for a dinner recommendation? A different room
with a view of the river? When would I finally slink
away and let *them* check in?

So there I was, in front of God and everybody, having to
say, "No, thank you. I do not want to donate one measly
dollar to the poor, unfortunate, and downtrodden of the
world. Oh, no! Not a dime (or 10) for people who are
"ill-housed, ill-clothed, ill-fed."

What did I do? I said, "Please leave it on the "bill,
of course." But I'll be writing a tax-break check to
the Red Cross this Christmas instead of United Way.

Opt-out is a bad way to go.

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June, 1999

I spent two weeks in Deutschland in May and felt a gentle
tipping of the European scales. One week was spent in and
around Munich giving a two-day seminar to Web-aficionados
at Siemens, and one week was in Berlin at Internet World.

Usually I spend more time in London than anywhere else, and
this time I had the chance to detect a difference between the
two. Aside from the fact that the beer is better, and the
history is more recent.

It seems that the UK is focused on two things at the moment:
online advertising and online access. This is the place where
grocery stores are offering free access to the Internet and
AOL and BT are testing flat-rate access with no phone charges.
Meanwhile, the UK-Netmarketing list
www.chinwag.com/uk-netmarketing  spends a
great deal of time bashing about the ins and outs of banner ads.

At the same time, the UK government has its heart in the right
place, promoting the Internet as a means to a more competitive
Britain www.dti.gov.uk/comp/competitive/summary.htm.

Still, the buzz I get on the street and at conferences
has me thinking that Germany is moving faster toward the prospect
of e-commerce. Buying and selling, research and development,
value chain and intranets.

It's as if the Brits got in on the ground floor and soaked
up the Silicon Valley spirit without convincing the old white
guys in the head office. Meanwhile, the Germans are looking
closely at the marks and pfennigs, and don't really care much
for the brave new world, the camaraderie of Web developers
with bold ideas, the information-wants-to-be-free publishers.
The Germans also don't want to waste time lamenting about the
lack of venture capital for pure Internet companies.

It seems that Germany may be able to ignore the spirit of
Silicon Valley/Silicon Alley, recognize good business tools
when they see them, and become the e-commerce center of Europe.

Watch this space.

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May, 1999

Besides running into Ralph Wilson at Internet World, I ran
into the Cluetrain. Or did it run over me?

Those of you who remember my tip of the hat to Rage-Boy
Chris Locke (www.rageboy.com) will understand why
I stayed firmly in my coat-and-tie, dark-blue-suit persona
as I joined in a Roundtable discussion of The Cluetrain
Manifesto (www.cluetrain.com).

Rage-Boy himself couldn't make it -- something about trade
shows being the tool of the devil. Ah -- here it is:
"Unfortunately, RB won't be there, as he believes industry
conferences are inherently evil. Plus he says he's afraid he
might OD on product literature and take out a couple of innocent
keynoters."

I, however, who lives for the smell of the greasepaint and the
roar of the crowd, was invited to join a couple of the other
Cluetrain authors and several other clued individuals to discuss
the mysteries of why companies insist on being closed-minded.

Conclusions? The only way the Cluetrain Manifesto can have
an impact on the world is if The Word is spread. So here I
am, doing my bit to spread The Word. I leave it to you to
determine if your company even allows these sorts of words
to be uttered, much less spread.

So go read as much of the thing as you can tolerate in order
to get the gist and the tenor, and then come back.

Sort of like the high school kids got a hold of the PA system
and read Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas allowed, right?
Nevertheless, there is message in the madness. A good, solid,
valuable e-message that needs to be heard.

I just can't read it without remembering a bit of graffiti
in a public washroom on the edge of the Grand Canyon:

In red ink: Rage Against the Machine!
In black ink: Silly boy. You're *sitting* on the machine.

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March, 1999

On my way to London this month, I sat next to the human
resources manager of a large software company. He was
on his way to Paris to review the company's operations
and training processes in various European countries.

The conversation meandered hither and yon as it is wont
to do on a 10-hour flight and we got to talking about
the difficulties - in fact, the impossibilities -- of
having a single compensation plan for disparate territories.

The things that motivate a Brit don't really do it for
the French. That which would sparkle the eyes of an
Italian simply aren't important to a German. Of course.
it's not as cut and dried as all that. But when you're
balancing income, title, responsibility, time off,
desk location, office size and a dozen other perks,
prizes and payoffs, it gets rather tricky to do it
internationally.

If you're selling to an international marketplace, you
must take your localization to a deeper level than mere
translation. Take a look at http://www.transimage.com
just to admire all the different ways to say, "killing
two birds with one stone."

Spanish in Barcelona is not the same as in Mexico City.
Portuguese in Lisbon is not the same as in Sao Paulo.
English in Liverpool is not the same as  in Los Angeles.

When you localize... let the locals do it.

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January, 1999

I didn't get out much this month, but when I did, I
tripped over another Big Idea. The manufacturer of a
line of computer peripherals had asked me to give a
talk to their distributors.

The conversation kept coming around to the issue of
disintermediation. What happens to the distribution
chain in a wired world? This wasn't experts explaining
or journalists jawing or pundits pontificating. This
was a room full of men and women in charge of medium
sized companies desperate to understand if there was
a future in their future.

What was the big answer? Service, of course. In the past,
part of the service they offered was stocking the finished
goods for quick delivery. That ended a while ago. Now
everybody drop-ships. The manufacturer manages the
inventory instead of pushing it out into the distribution
chain. Distributors still provide installation, program-
ming support, network support and maintenance. They will
always be needed on the front lines.

What was the big problem? Pricing. One guy in Chicago
posts a discounted price for a specific product and
Shazam! the street price has been set. Doesn't matter
that the guy in Chicago doesn't pay a team of service
people to install the product, repair the product, and
train the customer. He's just taking orders and passing
them along to the manufacturer for drop-shipping.

The distributor in Duluth has a dilemma. He has based
his business on eking out a certain margin. Without it,
he's in a death spiral of price cuts. Commoditization
on the Web strikes again.

So what's the solution? The Big Idea.

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December, 1998

This past month found me in London (several times), Belgium,
Munich, and Scottsdale. The most interesting tid-bit came from
the multi-national company I was consulting for in Munich.
I asked executives there to come up with some guidelines and
standards to control wasteful surfing by their employees. One
of the things they suggested was a class to teach people how
to search the Web more effectively and efficiently.

I looked puzzled, so they expanded. In their opinion, the biggest
waste of corporate time on the Web is not people looking at
sports scores or dirty pictures. The waste came from people not
being able to find the things they *should* be looking for.

I thought that was very insightful, and a good tip.

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November, 1998

I'm the kind of guy the airlines love because I'm on
a plane a couple of times a week. Since the last Full
Sterne Ahead, I've been to Denver, Miami, Phoenix,
San Juan, Orlando, Rochester and Kenosha. While San Juan
is a beautiful spot and bouncing back after Hurricane
Georges, Orlando and Rochester were the most interesting.

In Orlando, I saw Tom Peters in action again, and in
Rochester I saw one of the world's best organized
corporate Web teams at Kodak.

Tom Peters started the business guru industry with "In Search of Excellence". He continues to earn his standing as the guy at the top of the seminar ladder. If you get the chance to see him -- do so. Tom's themes are the same (destroy your organization and rebuild it before your competitors do, best practices are only good for mummifying processes, women are the fastest growing and most powerful force in industry, old folks are the fastest growing market segment ever). But this year Tom discovered the Internet.

The Internet will change the world? Given. The Internet
will cause the mighty to fall? Old news. The Internet
is a bubbling cauldron of the best and the brightest?
That's the important bit.

Tom is still happy to talk about the chutzpah of Federal
Express, the customer service dedication of SAS, and
the companies who put the customer first in general.
But when it comes to innovation and the ability to
move fast, he is focused on the Web.

He says if you want bright thinking and cutting edge
service models, look to Yahoo, Cisco, Amazon, and every
the other Web company. Why? Because they have to reinvent
themselves every day.

You know that. I know that. But the news here is that
Tom Peters was in Orlando, Florida pounding this idea
into the heads of more than a thousand customer service
middle managers from boring old companies from all over
the world.

The Web is the standard that today's premier business
guru turn to as an example of focus on the customer and
the ability to stay out of a rut. It's your job to make
sure it stays that way.
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I happily flew from the warmth of Orlando to the blowing
cold of Rochester, New York to swap smarts with the
people who are taking pictures... further. That's Kodak's
tag line, and it's in keeping with their whole Web philosophy.
(Compare that to another Rochester company which still
refers to itself as The Document Company. Can you spell
railroad vs. transportation?)

Kodak has a central Web organization that provides
technical support, server management, content management,
and e-commerce functionality, along with look-and-feel
and navigational guidelines and supervision. They understand
that responsibility for content falls on individual business
units and product managers. They understand that budgets
for the Web must be dispersed throughout the corporation.
They understand that each product appeals to a different
audience which will respond to different types of content.

But they also understand that their Web site is about the
people who visit it. It must provide value to different
constituents, and it must present a united front, a common
interface and a single brand at the same time.

Oh -- and it's a lot of fun to go play with your pictures
at www.kodak.com too.

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